Face Equality Week

Start early

Parents tell us they get embarrassed if their young child points, stares or makes a loud comment about someone with a visible difference who they see in public. That’s why it’s so important to talk about and celebrate differences at home, from an early age. There’s a growing range of toys that feature positive representations of visible difference. Books are also a great way to introduce and talk about visible differences. Check out the book recommendations on our classroom resources page. And our butterfly activity pack combines celebrating difference with craft and colouring!

What to do if you catch yourself staring

Sometimes it happens. If you ever find yourself staring at someone with a visible difference or disfigurement, here’s our advice about what to do next.

• Smile: It’s a simple act that lets the person you’ve been staring at know you’ve realised your mistake. With a smile, you can show that your stare isn’t going to escalate into a negative comment or worse.
• Say hi: You can change your stare into a more positive exchange by simply sharing a warm greeting, like “hi” or “good morning”.
• Say sorry: Own your mistake and apologise. It’s rude to stare, so saying sorry acknowledges this.
• Give a compliment: If you’ve been staring you’ve probably noticed something else about the person, other than their visible difference. You can always make a comment to break the ice after you’ve been caught staring, admiring someone’s clothes or a skill they have.
• Don’t shout: If you’re with a young child and they stare, point or make a loud comment, it might feel embarrassing for you, but please don’t shout at or pull a child away. It’s best to simply explain that everyone looks different and that’s a good thing. Remember to smile at the person your child notices, they’ll learn from your behaviour.
• Alter your gaze: You may feel surprised or curious if you meet someone with a visible difference for the first time. They might come for an interview or be serving you in a shop. If you are worried that you are staring at their visible difference, look at the bridge of their nose for a few moments until you feel more confident.

Please remember

The person you’ve caught yourself staring at has probably had to deal with lots of people staring and commenting before you. Don’t always expect a smile back or someone to want to start a conversation.

Sign up for our allyship email course

It’s great that you want to take action and challenge the prejudice and discrimination too many people with visible differences and disfigurements still face today.

Become a visible difference ally. Take our free, short course, to be a better ally. You’ll learn more about living life with a visible difference, and it covers topics like what language to use, why we may stare in the first place and how to stop the stare.

SIGN UP NOW

Talk about difference

We want to get more people talking about visible difference and disfigurement, the prejudice people can face, and how we can challenge stereotypes about visible differences. You can help by hosting your own Face Equali-Tea Party, which comes complete with conversation starters.

Download your pack

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We campaign on everything from better representation of visible difference and disfigurements in film to preventing hate incidents and hate crimes. Get our regular supporter newsletter to keep up to date and support our work.

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It’s OK to not be OK

We know that constant stares, negative comments and abuse just because of how you look can really take a toll. Experiencing negative behaviours and reactions from others isn’t always easy to manage. But you’re not alone. We’re here for anyone with a visible difference or disfigurement on their face or body.

You might find these self-help pages are a good place to start. And our Support and Information Line team is here to listen and let you know about the services we offer, from our Online Community group to free, one-to-one counselling and wellbeing support.