My name is Joanne, and I was born with a facial difference described as a cleft nose. I have had many surgeries to improve the appearance of my nose, from six months old up until 19 years old.
Growing up, I was always aware that I looked different to other people. My family and friends were always so supportive, along with my fantastic junior school. I was a confident child despite my condition and enjoyed performance and dancing. I did experience some bullying, comments from other children, and staring; however, it didn’t affect my childhood much.
When it was time for me to begin high school, I didn’t want to go, because I knew that older children would stare and potentially bully me. I wanted to wait until I’d had more surgery before I started high school, however that wasn’t possible. Unfortunately, the bullying I experienced did get worse, as I’d feared.
Growing up, Joanne had a lot of support from family and friends
I hated walking in the corridors, as people would stare and call me names. This made me hate myself and question my self-worth, resulting in me not wanting to go to school. I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else, but I knew there was a clear difference. I wish I had a bit more support for my condition during school. It would have been beneficial to have help in accepting myself and learning to deal with bullies. My anxiety became prominent during high school, and it made me struggle going out alone in public.
Despite this, I managed to do well in my GCSEs and went on to do Health and Social Care at college. However, the comments and staring started once again and I wasn’t enjoying that environment, so I moved colleges to my high school’s sixth form. I decided to study Business and put all my energy into that. It turned out that Business was my talent. I achieved two Distinctions and a Pass in college which enabled me to go to university to study Business and Marketing. I took a gap year before starting university so I could have surgery.
My surgery was a big one, which left me with new scars, and a slight complication altered my nose; however, I was happy with the results. The operation was painful, and it took a while to recover, but it felt worth it. This was until someone said something to me on a night out, which brought me right back to square one. I had another surgery around a year later and it corrected some scarring, which made me more comfortable with my appearance.
I have an amazing family, friends, and partner, who have been vital in my journey towards self-acceptance. They love me as I am, and now I know that I can too.
After this, I started university and really found my confidence. I knew I had lots of support services available in case I had any struggles with my condition, and this helped me to come out of my shell. During my third year of university, I went on a work placement. My role was within the marketing team at my university business school. This placement changed my life. It gave me confidence to speak to people, made it easier to go out in public and I even did some public speaking!
Following my placement, I made the decision not to have anymore surgeries. I felt like the risks were too great and could reverse some of the progress I’d already made. I’ve come to a point where I realise that appearances aren’t everything – my appearance is not important compared to my work ethic, kindness, and intelligence (something that the bullies clearly lacked). I realised that I wasn’t having surgeries for myself, but to try and stop people from saying hurtful things. I shouldn’t have to do that, and neither should anyone else. I have an amazing family, friends, and partner, who have been vital in my journey towards self-acceptance. They love me as I am, and now I know that I can too.
I have just finished my final year of university, where I wrote an assignment on changing the attitudes towards people with visible differences through advertising. This assignment was hard because it was close to home, but it was so rewarding. It consisted of integrating people with facial differences into everyday advertising, as while some brands have already taken steps to do this, a lot only have specific campaigns that involve people who look different.
The goal of the assignment was to normalise difference and minimise discrimination by exposing the public, and specifically younger individuals, to people who have visible differences. I think this would help to eliminate the negative opinions that still exist in wider society. I feel that if this was the case while I was growing up, I would’ve felt better about looking different compared to others. It may have also reduced the staring and hurtful comments I received, as people would be more familiar with visible differences.
Changing Faces’ resources and data played a huge part in the success of this assessment, and I ended up finishing university with a first-class degree! I am now waiting to start my master’s degree while still working part-time at the business school where I did my placement. I try to not let comments and staring affect me anymore, because nothing is going to stop me from achieving my goals – especially bullies.
