Seeing my good points tool

It can be hard to be nice to ourselves. We are often better at being nice to other people. Next time you feel like you are down on yourself, try and think about what you would say to a friend – and then say this to yourself instead. What we all need to do is to spend a bit more time thinking about our ‘good points’ – the things we like and the things other people like about us. You will have lots of these, but sometimes it might not feel that way to you.

To help you to think about your positive qualities take some time to complete the questions below. You might want to do this over a couple of days and keep coming back to this. Write your answers in a notepad or tablet.

What do other people like about you? Ask your friends and family and write these down.

What do you think are your good points? Are you kind and caring? Are you patient? Do you listen to others? Are you funny? It might help to look at things your friends or family have said about you. Don’t be too modest – be honest with yourself.

What are you good at? This can be anything. Are you good at sports or certain subjects? Are you really good at taking care of others or pets? Do you like writing stories? Or drawing? Or playing the piano?

What good things have you done?

What have you done that you have been really pleased with? Here are some examples:

  • I helped out at home when we had a big family birthday
  • I got a good grade or good feedback on a piece of schoolwork
  • I helped a friend when they were upset
  • I went to the park, even though I was really anxious and stressed about it

You might want to ask others what they think you have achieved. You can come back to this list and keep adding to it.

Once you have your list, keep this somewhere that you can see it so that you can be reminded of your positive qualities. Or, you might get some post-it notes and write your good points on them to stick up around the house. Or make a poster or picture. Whatever you think might help to remind you.

If you find this a bit tricky, you might also like to look at the Upsetting thoughts tool to help you. You may find the Motto tool helpful too.

Motto tool


Upsetting thoughts tool


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