I decided to take part in ‘Love My Face’ after yet another hurtful and unsolicited comment about my appearance hurt me. Although I usually try to stay strong, and not let ignorance phase me, my PTSD was sent into overdrive, and I knew I needed help.
Finding out about the show was serendipitous. I believe that life has a way of things showing up when you need them to.
I’ve lived with long-term physical and medical challenges ever since a car accident altered both my appearance and the course of my life. Early on in the show’s production, the crew explained that the show could only address my facial scar, not offer reconstructive treatment. While that wasn’t the outcome I had hoped for, I chose to continue, because I believed that sharing my story could shine a light on what it means to live with a facial difference and help someone else feel a little less alone. This was my opportunity to say to the world that I have a visible difference and it’s okay to notice this, just don’t disadvantage me because of it.
‘Love My Face’ has reminded me of how much there is to celebrate – how brave, resilient, and talented we all are.
Opening up publicly was daunting and life-affirming in equal measure. I feared the show might be sensationalist and follow harmful stereotypes that the visible difference community face, but instead it highlighted humanity and respect, which I hope will influence societal attitudes and promote kindness. The production team’s care and support helped me through so much of my journey and I will be eternally grateful for this experience.
Being part of the show has deepened my perspective on visible difference, even after 20 years of lived experience and extensive volunteering for the community. It reminded me of our shared need to belong, and how deeply appearance-based judgement still affects so many lives. We are impacted by a society that rejects us and judges based on looks, assigning worth based on whether you fit a predetermined normal of what beauty looks like. If you don’t fit the mould often society can be unkind.
As a trustee of Changing Faces, I realise that there is still so much work to do, and so much funding needed to achieve our mission. The data unfortunately speaks for itself, although nearly 1 in 5 of UK society self-identify as having a visible difference, many experience discrimination, isolation and struggle with self-esteem issues. It doesn’t help that we’re underrepresented by brands, in campaigns and in the media. Hopefully ‘Love My Face’ will go some way to getting the community seen positively.
Please don’t feel like you need fixing, this is your life, and no one else gets to tell you how to live it.
‘Love My Face’ has also reminded me of how much there is to celebrate – how brave, resilient, and talented we all are. Contributing to ‘Love My Face’ has deepened my drive and determination to push for greater representation, respect, and support for everyone with a visible difference. It has strengthened my resolve to help achieve our goal: to not stop until everyone with a visible difference or disfigurement is fully supported and respected.
Since the episode aired, I have received such amazing love and support. The response has been incredibly positive – from family, friends, colleagues, strangers, and fellow contributors.
I hope that ‘Love My Face’ shows that the visible difference community is here, and we matter. We will have bad days, but we will also have many good ones. Embrace your difference, celebrate it.
If at times life feels heavy, know that it’s okay to choose the path that’s best for you. Please don’t feel like you need fixing, this is your life, and no one else gets to tell you how to live it.
Talk to anyone you feel is able to comfort you and listen. It’s amazing what we can overcome if we allow ourselves to take the time and space we need to heal. Reach out because you are not alone.
Changing Faces are experts in supporting people on their journey, whether it’s accessing our confidential Support & Information Line, one-to-one counselling, or Skin Camouflage service, we are here to support our community.
You can watch Tiwonge on ‘Love My Face’ via Channel 4’s online catch-up service.
