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Gary’s story: “Vulnerability wasn’t a weakness, it was strength”

Gary developed Bell’s Palsy in his teens and felt he had to hide his struggles to appear strong. He now knows that sharing the challenges you’re facing is much more powerful.


When I was 18, I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy. One morning, I woke up and looked in the mirror to find that half of my face was paralysed. It was sudden, shocking, and completely changed how I saw myself. Up until that point, I had been a young entrepreneur, building and selling computers to teachers and creating business cards for local businesses. I was confident in my abilities and felt unstoppable. But the day my face changed, so did my self-esteem.

At first, I told myself it was temporary. Doctors assured me it could improve over time, but as the weeks turned into months, I felt like a stranger in my own skin. People treated me differently. Some stared, some avoided eye contact altogether, and the rare brave few asked me outright what had happened to my face. Each interaction chipped away at the confidence I had built as a young entrepreneur. I became more aware of how I looked to others, feeling like I had to explain myself or hide away.

I’ve proven that success isn’t limited to those without mental health challenges.

What people didn’t see was how deeply this visible difference affected my mental health. I wore a metaphorical mask, putting on a brave face (quite literally), while inside I felt anything but strong. Everyone around me assumed I was coping. I was still achieving, still moving forward with my work, but I felt hollow. The mask stayed on for years, even as I went on to grow a successful multi-award-winning business. I became so focused on appearing “okay” that I ignored my own wellbeing, eventually leading to severe depression and crippling anxiety.

It wasn’t until 20 years later that I finally opened up about my struggles. The turning point came when I began sharing my story more openly. I realised that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness, it was strength. The more I spoke about my experience with Bell’s Palsy and how it affected my self-esteem, the more others connected with me. Some had visible differences of their own. Others related to the feeling of wearing a mask, pretending everything was fine while struggling inside.

My visible difference shaped me, but it no longer defines me.

In 2024, I decided to step down as CEO of a business I founded in 2009, which had reached seven figures, and focus on my mental health and wellbeing. I’m now a qualified mentor and professional speaker, using my experience to help others prioritise their own wellbeing while striving for success. I’ve proven that success isn’t limited to those without mental health challenges. You can be equally, if not more, successful while facing those struggles. Mental health challenges don’t set us up for failure.

Looking back, I wish I had sought support earlier. I wish I had understood that it’s okay to not be okay and that sharing our struggles doesn’t diminish our worth or success. If anything, it makes us stronger.

To anyone reading this who might be dealing with a visible difference: I see you. I know how isolating it can feel, but you are not alone. There is strength in sharing your story, in reaching out for help, and in embracing your whole self – visible differences and all. My visible difference shaped me, but it no longer defines me. And yours doesn’t have to define you either.

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