I’m Joti and in 1999, I noticed a small white spot that would spread like wildfire across my body and strip me completely of my confidence and identity. It would turn out that this was vitiligo, an auto-immune condition that causes the destruction of melanocytes, the skin cells that produce pigment.
Before I developed vitiligo, I’d been a bubbly and confident young person living life to the full, but the condition stole my 20’s and 30’s as I fell into major depression. Ashamed of myself, I hid my skin for 20 years under long sleeved clothing and camouflage make up that would conceal every spot across my body from head to toe.
We’re all unique, so we need to celebrate that, instead of pushing an unattainable idea of perfection.
Hiding my vitiligo patches in the summer months and when going on holiday felt particularly torturous and almost impossible in terms of fully covering up my skin in such hot weather. It was uncomfortable, but I felt I had to do it. I was nervous of the stares and comments I might receive.
I work as a teacher, and it was hard during my first few years of teaching to hide my vitiligo from my students and the staff that I worked with. However, as the years have gone on, I have tried to embrace my patches and my new skin colour. The more confidence I have, the less I notice people staring at me, because I am not making an issue of my skin in my own mind.
Joti used to cover her skin to avoid stares
It is so important not to waste time worrying about what other people might be thinking and instead to focus on you and what makes you happy. I spent so many years hyper-aware of my appearance and the opinions of others, and I look back and wish I hadn’t, because I wasted most of my 30’s fixating on others’ perceptions rather than getting on with my life.
Growing up, I wish I’d have seen more people with visible differences in the media. Perhaps then I wouldn’t have been as ashamed of my skin. The more we can normalise difference, the better. We’re all unique, so we need to celebrate that, instead of pushing an unattainable idea of perfection.
I’m so proud that I’m now able to stand strong in my skin at work and be a role model to my two children. I’ve rediscovered my confidence and am now comfortable with who I am. I am also proud of being able to talk about my skin journey publicly as a campaigner, as well as having published a memoir called ‘Strong in the Skin I’m in’ where I share my highs and lows of living with vitiligo.
Don’t lose precious time guessing what others might be thinking about you. Embrace your differences, and don’t let them stop you from doing what you love.
