Photo credit: Yellowbelly
I’m Gemma and I was born with Noonan syndrome. Part of the package of ‘things’ you can get with the syndrome is ptosis – drooping of the eyelids – which I have in both of my eyelids.
I was bullied quite badly at school. This crippled my self-esteem, and I believed myself to be ugly. Even now, I sometimes still do. I was the only one in my family who had ptosis and knew no-one else with it, so consequently felt very alone.
Growing up with ptosis was challenging for Gemma
In 1997, at the age of 18, after years of tears, my mum took me to Manchester’s Royal Eye Hospital to see if anything could be done. They suggested that I could have a bi-lateral brow suspension operation. This involves taking a strip of muscle from your leg and placing it under the skin of your forehead. The muscle acts as a makeshift lever, giving your eyelids a little more lift. I’d already had exploratory surgery on my eyelids when I was three years old to see if there was any useful muscle there. All they found was floppy muscle that was redundant.
I decided to go forward with the bi-lateral operation, and it went well. They were able to open my eyes a little more and create an artificial crease in my right eye. Scar tissue in my left eye from my initial exploratory operation at three years old meant the skin was too thick to form a crease. So, while both eyes did open a little more, one had a crease and the other didn’t. As such, my eyes are now uneven. I also have scar dimpling on my forehead. Even though it was not quite the overall outcome that I longed for, I accepted it and knew that it was better than what I had previously.
I have forged a path of my own with great joy.
Fast forward through the years, and I have had a VERY rocky road with my appearance, which is linked to my own perceptions of my face, as well as the clumsy comments of other people. Only two years ago in fact, I went to see a maxillofacial consultant about the gum pain I was experiencing. He paid more attention to my eyes and eye operation than what I actually went in for and preceded to tell me that my operation and the face I had carried around for 44 years was a ‘botched job’. As you can imagine, that was (and still is) like taking a bullet to my self-esteem.
However, in amongst all this I have forged a path of my own with great joy. I studied acting at university and then went to drama school to study for a master’s degree in Voice to become a professional voice, accent and dialect coach. I have worked all over the country in most of the top drama schools and coach many actors towards Netflix, Amazon Prime and BBC iPlayer roles. I have also worked with lots of businesses and individual clients on their vocal and presentation skills. I have a wonderful career, and I don’t let my ptosis hold me back.
After watching the Channel 4 series ‘Love My Face’, I felt compelled to reach out to Changing Faces and share my story. While I didn’t have the same visible difference as anyone on the show, I felt connected to them through lived experience. Finding others who understand you is so important, and I hope someone can read my story and know they aren’t alone.
