(Image credits: Sylvie Pope Photography)
I’m David and when I was a child, I developed a scar on my face. Usually, scars are acquired through surgery or an injury, but mine just appeared and it has gotten bigger as I’ve got older. To this day, I’m not entirely sure what it is.
Building confidence after acquiring a scar hasn’t been easy. I was bullied at school for my scar, but this was my expectation – it has been far more difficult to deal with confidence issues as an adult, when you think these things would be behind you. On more difficult days, I don’t want to be in public at all. This can make work and social commitments quite taxing.
I have received stares, mostly while travelling outside of Europe, but plenty of comments at home too. Usually, these are at social occasions and from drunk people. Being a placid person, I just tend to walk away. Sometimes I will tell them what they said is rude, but I normally want to retreat to somewhere quiet as soon as possible.
To try and boost my confidence, I attended a few appointments with the Changing Faces Skin Camouflage Service, which have been enormously helpful. I was able to get products through prescription and now I use them at all big social events, particularly if I expect to get my photo taken – something I would dread very much before using the service.
David doesn’t want his scarring to stop him from being his true self.
My advice to anyone finding life with a visible difference challenging, would be to be as open about your visible difference as you are comfortable with. Talk about it to the important people in your life – they will help you put it in perspective. My bet is some of them will rarely if ever think about it and this will help you realise that your visible difference doesn’t define you.
The main societal change I would like to see for those of us with a visible difference is that we as a community are more fairly represented in the media. Whether this is on social media or in the arts and entertainment industries, it seems that representation has made great and important strides lately across all demographics and body types, but those of us in the visible difference community feel a little left behind. This is what our campaign called ‘A Face for Radio’ is all about – we want brands to commit to greater representation of our community across their promotional and marketing materials.
My proudest achievement relating to my difference is one I attempt to replicate daily, and that is not to let my appearance hinder what I’d like to do. I am proud of carrying on a busy and enriching social life, when a lack of confidence is often the hardest thing about living with a visible difference. This goes for my current academic activity, a lot of which takes place on Zoom and even presenting at conferences. I’ve moved past the setbacks which knocked my self-esteem and haven’t let my visible difference keep me from letting my outgoing personality shine.
