As a young adult, learning to love my skin has been a challenge. I developed a skin condition called keloids at the age of 13 which was caused by having acne on my face, chest and back.
Keloids are a growth of scar tissue which result from trauma to the skin. The scar tissue grows continuously, and they itch, burn and give shooting pains on a daily basis.
Growing up, I was always trying to hide my scars. I loved winter because I could cover up in big coats and woolly scarfs. I even wore a scarf in summer to hide my keloids. I was sweating but I didn’t want to be judged. I hated people knowing I had keloids and having to endure the stares and horrible comments.
I’ve been told to kill myself because I’m ugly. I’ve been pointed and laughed at by a group of people. A man at work said, “You would be pretty if you didn’t have them on your face,” referring to my keloids. I always wonder why individuals want to make you feel so low and like you shouldn’t exist.
Bianca has keloid scars on her face, chest and back which were caused by acne.
My mental health soon started to spiral out of control which had an impact on my social life and wellbeing. I hid indoors most of the time because I felt so anxious and depressed. I was tired of feeling low, hiding, not socialising, not eating or overeating. I prayed every day to feel normal.
One day in February 2017, I woke up with a different mindset. I was so exhausted from hiding and covering up constantly that I decided to share a collage photo on Instagram. It was two pictures of me side by side – with my keloids showing on the right, and with them edited out on the left – alongside a short post about my story.
I turned my phone off right afterwards as I was scared that I would receive negative comments. However, I was shocked and surprised by the love, positivity and support. That day was my first step to becoming free and I’ve continued to grow stronger day by day. I’ve always said baby steps are still steps moving you forward.
Every night, I write down three positive things that happened that day, light my candles and sage, and meditate. Reading positive thinking and spirituality books has given me a different outlook on life. The experiences I’ve been through inspired me to create an online support group called @keloidsupport to help individuals who are experiencing anxiety, suicidal thoughts and low self-esteem.
My advice for other people with visible differences is to never compare yourself to others. You’re unique, beautiful and strong.
The community is a positive, supportive space where people can share their stories and feel accepted for who they are. Some individuals have never shared their story before, so it’s their first time feeling free, and it lifts a huge weight off their shoulders. I also do weekly discussions where we share ideas and tips to help each other.
I’ve shared my visible difference story in a host of media including Teen Vogue, Stylist magazine and First Dates. Now when people make comments, I educate them about my condition if they genuinely are curious. And if people make rude remarks, I stand strong and ignore them.
I can finally say I love and accept my skin. I am still learning each day to uplift my confidence more and more, however, looking back from now to 2017, I can see that I’ve grown so much. My advice for other people with visible differences is to never compare yourself to others. You’re unique, beautiful, strong and you can handle anything that life throws at you.