I’m Sofia and I was born with a cleft lip and palate. No one ever explained that to me growing up. My parents didn’t talk about it, not even once. I didn’t see a dentist until I was 16, and that was off my own back. I’d been looking after my younger siblings and just getting on with things the way kids do.
Despite that, I had a close group of friends in primary school and don’t remember being bullied. There were a few moments when someone made a comment about my face, but the silence around it always cut deeper. Not having a part of me recognised was hard.
A cleft or visible difference doesn’t define you. It doesn’t change your intelligence, your spirit, or the love you’re capable of giving and receiving.
As I got older, the focus shifted. I had my first child at 23 and trained as a nurse while raising a baby. Later, I became a health visitor and had another child at 27. For the past decade, I’ve been navigating a long and difficult journey in my personal life, while remaining present, loving, and fierce for my children throughout.
My visible difference hasn’t been my biggest challenge, but it has shaped how I move through the world. I notice it in small moments — like when someone sees me in person for the first time and their eyes do a full scan of my face. Some people don’t pick up on my cleft in photos, and I notice their surprise when I meet them. If it comes up, I name it simply. I don’t hide it. I’ll say, “I was born with a cleft lip,” like I’d say anything else.
Now, in my 30s, I’m beginning to reflect more deeply on all aspects of my life, including my visible difference. I’m starting to tell my story, not for sympathy, but for space. To see what happens when I speak the truth in my own words.
There are so many of us with cleft lip and palates, so why aren’t we in editorial, in casting rooms, on stages, or in campaigns?
To anyone out there with a visible difference who’s struggling, I’d say this: own it. Read, learn, and train your mind to work for you. A cleft or visible difference doesn’t define you. It doesn’t change your intelligence, your spirit, or the love you’re capable of giving and receiving. Build a life that belongs to you. Plan it, live it, and don’t wait for external validation. Giving someone else control over how you feel is never safe. Keep tools in your basket for when life swerves, because inevitably it will.
I’m proud of the fact that my children don’t even see my face as different. It’s just my face, and their love for me has always been complete. I’m also proud of stepping into visibility in my own way. I’ve done my first photo shoot, shared my profile openly, and started creating work that reflects not just my experience, but what I want to see more of in the world. There are so many of us with cleft lip and palates, so why aren’t we in editorial, in casting rooms, on stages, or in campaigns? Why aren’t we represented in beauty, in fashion, in documentaries — in all the places where real life shows up?
My hope for the future is to keep creating, keep softening, and keep showing up. And I hope the same for this community. More visibility. More compassion. More inclusion — not as a statement, but as a standard.
If you’re reading this and want to connect, I’d love to hear from you. You can find me here:
@rachedi_creative_emergingtalnt for visual work, shoots, and creative storytelling with grief
@maturehealer for deeper life reflections, healing, story telling
