My name is Rose, and I am 18 years old. Almost straight after I was born, multiple haemangioma birthmarks started forming and growing quickly all over my face and neck. I also had naevus anaemicus on my back and chest, which is another form of birthmark characterised by localised areas of pale skin.
It was uncommon to develop as many birthmarks as I did. The doctors did many scans, and I am very lucky not to have any internally. I was also part of the PHACES association research group and despite having many of the features of the condition, my birthmarks haven’t had a negative impact on my development or health.
The surgeries to remove the haemangiomas started when I was three years old and ended when I was four, meaning I was going through them in nursery and reception. My last surgery was when I had just started at school. I had an eyepatch to try and open up my eye a little more and many Steri-Strips to help the healing of my scars. Therefore, I looked noticeably different from all the other children at school.
Rose had to have surgeries to remove her birthmarks
I only have a few memories from this time, but what I do remember is other children staring at me for ages without talking to me. I think lots of the children were very curious but being young, didn’t know how to approach the conversation.
My parents say they got lots of stares and questions from strangers assuming that I’d been burnt. My mum told me that a lady once approached her in the supermarket and said, “that’s what happens when you have sex on your period”!
When I was seven, it was suggested that I have laser surgery to further lessen the appearance of my birthmarks, but as a family we decided not to. When I was 11, I was offered the treatment again, but I decided that I was happy with my birthmark scars the way they are.
Although it’s sometimes been hard having my scars, I’m glad that I never got laser surgery, as they make me who I am. Overall, I feel I’ve become a stronger person because of them.
Don’t let other people’s comments be the reason you don’t achieve what you’re capable of.
I was always shy as a child and often struggled interacting with other children. Even now I get told that I should come out of my shell a little more and that I’m quiet at first.
I’ve always battled with my self-confidence. I often allow harsh comments to get to me. Once in Year 7, I was told I wouldn’t need a mask for Halloween as my scars were scary enough. I remember not knowing how to handle this and I took it very much to heart. Later in secondary school someone I considered a friend described me as “ugly” and ranked me a “4 out of 10”. That stuck with me and throughout my teenage years I constantly compared myself to other girls. For almost a whole year I struggled to look in the mirror and rarely went to school as I had a constant fear of being judged.
Gradually, I started going to school more, working hard on my A-levels, picking up more shifts at work and making new friends. I learnt that, although it’s hard, getting out there and interacting with lots of new people is what’s best. You should never feel that you have to hide away because of the way you look. Don’t let other people’s comments be the reason you don’t achieve what you’re capable of. You make a difference by being yourself!
Only now have I started to love myself for who I am and how I look. I go out a lot more, and I love my social job and spending time with friends. I have been incredibly lucky to have supportive parents, my sister (who is just a year younger than me) by my side since I can remember, and the most loving friends. Because of my experiences, I want to be able to comfort other people and make them feel loved for who they are. Your differences are what make you unique, beautiful and understanding towards others.
