I was born with a facial cleft which means that my nose does not join in the middle as somebody’s might usually do. I also have hemifacial microsomia which means one side of my jaw did not develop fully, so my face is not completely symmetrical.
I wouldn’t say having a visible difference has changed the course of my life as I like to think that, if I didn’t have a visible difference, I’d still be doing what I am doing today. What I am conscious of is how people perceive me. It does make me more aware of what other people might think and so it can change how I behave in certain situations. Although I was very lucky with the schools I went to growing up and didn’t really experience bullying, I do now as an adult sometimes feel the weight of having a visible difference.
Speak to friends and family for support, and if there’s something you want to do, try to go out and do it.
For example, I get on the tube every day. For the most part it’s fine, however when I do step onto the tube, I am more aware of the people around me and if they’re looking at me. I’ve never really had many comments, but I have received a lot of stares, which can be uncomfortable. My way of dealing with it is to smile back so that they realise that I am a friendly person. I don’t tend to engage verbally so as not to escalate the situation, but I’ve found that a smile can go a long way. I want the public to understand that we’re just normal people.
I am a triplet and am very lucky to have two sisters who are protective of me. My sisters do not have a visible difference and sometimes act like my mini bodyguards if they catch people staring in public. It’s reassuring to know that they have my back, however, I can imagine it can be uncomfortable for them when they notice the stares in public. We are very close and having them as a support network has really shaped who I am today and gives me the confidence to lead the life I do.
I’m a civil servant and I’ve had a successful career so far. One thing that strikes me about people with visible differences and their careers is how those with visible differences can sometimes experience discrimination and comments about the way they look in the workplace. Experiences like that may make some people with visible difference feel like they can’t achieve the things they want to. I truly believe that those with visible differences can achieve anything they want to with the right support; Changing Faces and other charities can provide that support.
I would like the public to understand that those who look different lead normal, happy lives and have successful careers. I would love to see more people with visible differences in leadership roles at the highest levels of major companies and in different industries to give us that visibility and show that anything is possible. I’d also love to see more visibility of actors and presenters with visible differences on screen in films and TV shows, but not portraying characters based on their visible difference, just playing a character living their life. Like seeing more people with visible differences in top positions in big companies, this would send a strong message that we’re normal human beings who exist in this world.
I would love to see more people with visible differences in leadership roles at the highest levels of major companies and in different industries to give us that visibility and show that anything is possible.
I am proud of the life I live. I have an active social life, lots of hobbies, and lots of different friends. I’m proud that I am able to put myself out there in different scenarios and try new things. I totally understand that some people with visible differences may find it difficult to put themselves out there because they may not want to draw attention to themselves. If I could give one piece of advice to those with visible differences who would like to build their confidence to lead the life they want to, I would say to speak to friends and family for support, and if there’s something you want to do, try to go out and do it. Don’t let other people’s thoughts or comments stop you – it’s your life so live it how you want to.
