I’m Joanne, and I was born with a cleft nose. For a long time, I didn’t think love or marriage was something that would happen for me. I always struggled with my confidence, and I’d convinced myself that I would never get the chance to walk down the aisle. I genuinely believed no one would ever fully want me.
A lot of that came from being bullied when I was younger. It made me really insecure and left me seeking out love and acceptance from others.
I remember being at school, watching my friends get their first boyfriends while I’d never had one. I built this idea up in my head that if a boy ever had to choose between me and a girl with a “normal” nose, he would always pick her. It didn’t matter what else I could offer, whether we were similar or if I was kind, I felt like I’d always come second.
Because of that, I grew up thinking that the only way I’d ever really experience love was through having a child. Marriage didn’t feel like something that was meant for me.
As I got older, I did end up having relationships, but my mindset never really changed. I was vulnerable and I settled more than I should have, because I thought it was the only way I’d have what everyone else seemed to have so easily.
Looking back now, I can see how much my own thoughts about myself shaped the choices I made.
Everything changed when I met Jamie.
He loves me properly, unconditionally, and being with him made me feel safe and secure in myself in a way I never had before. He didn’t just accept me, he helped me start to accept myself too.
It was during our relationship that I decided to stop having surgery. That was a big moment for me. It wasn’t something I ever thought I’d be able to do, but I finally felt comfortable enough in myself to let go of trying to change how I look.
We got engaged in 2024, and we’re getting married in August 2027 in a beautiful castle. It honestly feels like a fairytale, which is something younger me would never have believed.
The moment Jamie proposed to Joanne
Even things like photos feel completely different now. I used to hate having my picture taken because I couldn’t control how I looked or hide behind angles or filters. The idea of being photographed made me so anxious.
Now, I’m actually excited for our wedding photos. I can’t wait for those moments to be captured.
When I went to try on my dress, it felt surreal. I kept thinking about how younger me never thought she’d get to experience something like that, and it made me feel so grateful. If I could go back and speak to her, I’d tell her that she was always worthy of love.
What I’ve learned is that having a visible difference doesn’t stop you from finding love or having the future you want. For so long I believed it would, and now I can see that wasn’t true at all.
I feel like I was quite hard on myself, but those feelings came from insecurity and how I thought other people saw me.
The reality is, I’m so much more than how I look. And so is everyone else with a visible difference.
If I could say anything to someone who feels the way I used to, it would be this: don’t lower your standards because of how you see yourself. You deserve to feel loved properly. You deserve someone who chooses you fully.
It’s okay to wait for the right person.
I really believe everyone can find their person. Getting married with a visible difference isn’t impossible and being different doesn’t make you any less deserving of a happy life.
For me, that life now includes a wedding I never thought I’d have, and a future that finally feels like mine.
