My name is Corrina and I was diagnosed with kyphoscoliosis as a toddler, which caused a severe curvature of my spine. My parents initially struggled to get a diagnosis for me, and I was first treated with surgery and a series of plaster cast braces, which I remember being uncomfortable, hot and itchy.
As my condition continued to worsen, while still in primary school, I had further surgery to be fitted with halo-traction, followed by spinal fusion and a Harrington rod, which is metalwork attached to my spine to help straighten it, which I still have today. Over the years I continued to have regular hospital visits to adjust the rod as I grew.
The work of the brilliant surgical team helped to straighten my spine as much as possible, which is something I will always be thankful for. However, I was left with a significant rib hump on my left side which couldn’t be fully corrected. I also have uneven hips and ongoing discomfort from being unable to sit or lie straight.
Corrina still has insecurities about her back, but she’s learning to accept herself
Moving into senior school, my back severely affected my confidence and the way I saw myself. While I wasn’t bullied, I worried about how I looked constantly, was extremely shy and was excluded from sports, which set me further apart from others. Any negative comments really stuck with me, including one from an adult when I was a teenager at a swimming pool telling me I looked ‘bad’ and needed more surgery – I remember leaving the pool in tears.
As I moved to university and then into work, my main feeling was always shame and embarrassment if someone mentioned my back, however well meaning. I didn’t know anyone else with a similar condition or how to talk about how I felt. Looking different, even if people didn’t always notice, made social situations more challenging especially where I had to meet lots of new people and network, despite being outwardly outgoing. I always wondered how it would affect people’s view of me.
Discovering Changing Faces has helped me to validate how I felt over the years
Now in my 40s I’ve learnt to be kinder to myself and to focus on what I can achieve with my body rather than how it could hold me back. Ten years ago, I took up running for the first time, starting with Couch to 5K. I have since completed nine half marathons, which I am really proud of and something I never thought I could do. I also have two amazing boys and lots of family support.
I’ve enjoyed working in roles where I often had to speak in public and engage with others, and I recently went back to university to do a Masters, feeling a lot more confident in myself than the first time around! I’ve slowly learnt to discuss my back more openly without shame and it’s been lovely for this to be received with support and understanding.
I do often wonder what my life would have been like without my scoliosis but perhaps it’s helped me to be more empathetic and kinder knowing how others may feel. I still have occasional wobbles, especially when trying to buy clothes that fit me, and I always find myself adjusting my hair and clothing to cover my back as much as I can before entering a room.
Discovering Changing Faces and finding a language to describe having a visible difference has helped me to better articulate and validate how I felt over the years, as has reading inspirational stories from others. Having more positive representation in the media is so important and seeing myself represented, would have made such a difference to the younger me.
