My name’s Sarah. I’m 53, and I’ve been married to my husband Andrew for 31 years. We have five wonderful children and are now blessed with grandchildren. Life has brought its share of joy, but also challenges. One of the biggest has been living with a visible difference, and more recently, rebuilding my confidence after facial surgery.
When I was three, a dog bit off the top of my nose. Doctors tried to reattach it, but the surgery failed. For years, nothing more was done. At 13, I had a cartilage and skin graft to restore some shape. It wasn’t perfect, but it gave my nose some form.
My family moved around a lot when I was young because of my dad’s work. I never really thought of myself as different until we moved to a much bigger town when I was ten. Suddenly, I wasn’t just the new girl. I was the new girl with a flat nose. One boy’s unkind words made me realise, perhaps for the first time, that my peers saw me as different – and at that moment, I saw myself that way too.
People don’t always realise the impact of their reactions. But those moments stay with you.
Despite my insecurities, secondary school brought good memories and strong friendships. I learned to laugh and to make others laugh too. Making others laugh became my armour, and still is today. But like many teenagers, I longed for romance. It was the 1980s after all – the decade of rom-coms! Watching my friends date, I often felt painfully self-conscious about my nose. Looking back, I wish I could tell my younger self not to worry so much. Life unfolds in its own beautiful way.
After my teenage graft, I lived for nearly 40 years without problems. But in March 2023, I developed an acute infection in the graft that led to two operations. Nine months later, another infection meant more surgery, which left a dent in the graft. After consultations, it was decided that a septorhinoplasty and forehead flap reconstruction would be the best long-term solution. During surgery, they found a cyst – likely the cause of the infections. I had the skin flap in place for seven weeks and then had a second, simpler operation to remove the flap.
Right now, I’m three weeks post-second-op, with more procedures coming next year.
In between surgeries and during her recovery, Sarah has been reading stories of others with visible differences from Changing Faces to regain confidence.
Navigating multiple surgeries while going through peri-menopause has been especially tough. Rebuilding confidence after facial surgery isn’t just about physical healing. It’s emotional too. Some moments have been especially hard. One evening, I stepped out of my car near a group of families. A woman gasped audibly, and the group turned to stare. I held it together until I got home, and then I cried. There have been other moments like this.
People don’t always realise the impact of their reactions. But those moments stay with you.
In the midst of this, I’ve found comfort in reading the stories of others with visible differences through Changing Faces UK. Their honesty reminds me I’m not alone.
I often go back to a moment when I was 17, not long after becoming a Christian. I had what I can only describe as an A-ha moment — a deep sense that we are so much more than our outward appearance. That truth was freeing then, and even now it brings me renewed hope and peace.
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling with confidence after facial surgery or living with a visible difference, please know this: Your worth is not tied to your face or body. You are infinitely more than how you appear, and you are deeply valuable.
And if you don’t live with a visible difference or disability, I ask this: remember that every person is made with value and dignity. Don’t feel entitled to comment or ask why we are the way we are. Instead, choose kindness, and treat others as you would wish to be treated.
