#YoureNotAlone our campaign to support more men to talk about living life with a visible difference

New research reveals two-thirds of men with a visible difference feel embarrassed, worried or afraid because they look different

New survey of over 1,000 men with a visible difference by charity Changing Faces reveals:

  • Three-quarters of men with a visible difference say men are under pressure to meet macho male stereotypes (76%) and that men do not talk about their appearance (75%)
  • Nearly three-quarters of men (72%) say there should be more conversations among men with visible differences
  • A quarter (23%) of men with a visible difference feel self-conscious or embarrassed about showing parts of their body
  • Two-thirds (64%) of men with visible differences felt negative emotions, such as being embarrassed, worried or afraid, when they realised they looked different

Three-quarters of men with a visible difference say men are under pressure to meet macho male stereotypes and a quarter say they feel self-conscious or embarrassed about showing parts of their body. That’s according to the charity Changing Faces whose new research reveals six in ten men with a visible difference agree people react differently to a man with a visible difference than a woman.

The survey conducted by Savanta ComRes of over 1,000 men with a visible difference, such as a mark or scar, highlights how men with a visible difference are contending with a double challenge; handling the reactions of others, and living in a society where talking about appearance is still more acceptable for women than men.

Two-thirds (64%) of men with visible differences felt negative emotions, such as being embarrassed, worried or afraid, when they realised they looked different.

Changing Faces CEO Becky Hewitt says: “Looking different in a society that promotes and values ‘perfection’ is tough and it’s no wonder that men find it difficult to speak out about their experiences. All too often men with disfigurements are portrayed negatively, with scars often used as a shorthand for villainy.

“Added to that there’s a prevailing attitude that men should ‘just get on with it’, and not worry about how they look. It’s a toxic blend that doesn’t help people who could really benefit from support.”

The research found that three-quarters of men with a visible difference say men do not talk about their appearance but agreed that there should be more conversations among men.

Changing Faces campaigner, Rory McGuire says: “When you look different you have to be ready for daily stares and comments. That takes its toll, particularly if you don’t feel able to talk about how it makes you feel.

“In my late teens I eventually started to speak out. At first, I shared my experiences online. I had positive reactions from all over the world, and closer to home, people realised the impact of appearance related bullying and abuse. Things started to change for the better.

“We need men, and women, to know that it’s okay to talk about your appearance, and how other people’s reactions can make you feel.”

The research also found that a quarter (23%) of men with a visible difference feel they are a stronger person because of looking different.

Changing Faces ambassador, and actor, Adam Pearson says: “When I look back at the young man I was, to the person I have become, I am very proud of him. It’s not always easy looking different in a world that is so focused on perfection.

“Growing up there were no positive role models of people with disfigurements in the media. So now I’m on a mission to be more visible. I speak out and share my experiences, because if it helps one more man, or woman, feel able to share how they’re feeling about their appearance, that’s a job well done.”

Changing Faces say currently only around 2 in 10 of the clients they support are men and have launched a campaign to encourage more men to come forward and access support services, such as free one-to-one counselling, peer group chat and an online self-help programme.

Hear more from men with visible differences

Changing Faces campaigners and ambassadors have been sharing their experiences of being a man and living life with a visible difference in the latest My Visible Difference podcast out now, guest hosted by Changing Faces ambassador Adam Pearson.

You can read more stories of men, and women, with visible differences, and tell your own story here.

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