Feeling as if you have lost your identity

When your appearance changes as a consequence of trauma, surgery or disease, it can feel like a part of (who) you (are) has been lost. Many people talk of not recognising their own reflection / themselves after acquiring a disfigurement, and this feeling can last for some time.

Our faces, in particular, can form a central part of our identity and, as they can influence not only how we see ourselves but also how others see us; it’s quite normal to feel this sense of loss when there is a sudden change. It will take time to adjust to the new image that you see reflected back in the mirror, and accompanying this will be a new sense of identity.

Allow yourself to adapt to this change gradually, acknowledging this process as normal and giving yourself time and space to experience the feelings associated with it – denial, anger, depression and disbelief. Talk to someone about how you’re feeling so that you feel less alone in your experience, and gradually build up your familiarity with your new appearance and try not to avoid your reflection. The more familiar you become with your new looks, the less shocked you will be when you see your reflection in unexpected places.