Assumptions about what life is like for someone with a disfigurement are deeply embedded in our culture and distort our view of the reality of people’s lives.  They are actually myths without foundation.

The myth of success

‘There is no way you can be a success looking like that – a second-rate life is inevitable.’

It’s easy to believe this myth when you consider that most people publicly associated with success (celebrities, film stars, sporting heroes and models) are considered to be ‘good-looking’ even if their appearance has been air-brushed.

So, it is not surprising that we might believe that people with disfigurements would have little chance of success.  This belief is damaging because it can lead to lowered expectations and wasted potential.  In reality, many people with disfigurements lead successful lives with interesting careers, fulfilling relationships and a family.

The myth of surgery

‘It’s amazing what surgeons can do these days.’

Modern surgical and medical techniques can make some disfigurements less noticeable but a disfigurement can rarely be removed completely. Simplistic media stories about the latest miraculous breakthrough in reconstructive surgery added to exaggerated advertisements about the brilliance of cosmetic surgery lend credence to this myth.

If you believe it, you’ll assume that someone with a disfigurement is going to get ‘it’ fixed soon – or expect them to do so – possibly adding to the pressure on them to seek surgery to be come more ‘acceptable’ and to disappointment when hopes are not realised.

Realistic understanding of surgical and medical treatments and their limits is essential and it does not help if they are promoted in an exaggerated way.

The myth of heroism

‘You are so brave – you’re a real hero to live with scars like those.’

This myth assumes disfigurement is one of the worst things that can happen to someone and so anyone who deals with it must be exceptionally brave.

This is patronising.  The fact is there is very little choice available if you are born with or acquire a disfigurement.   It can take courage to face difficult situations but bravery does not come into it.  Those who have come to terms with their scars, marks or unusual features often say that they have gained new insights and life skills.

The myth of horror

‘I don’t like the look of him, he looks frightening!’

People are often scared of the unknown or difference.  This fact has prompted the use of disfigurement as a device to portray evil in horror films, comic strips, religious imagery and fairy tales.

As a result, some people are scared of anyone who has a disfigurement and seem to feel free to resort to ridicule by hurling insults like ‘Phantom’, ‘Scarface’ or ‘Freddie Kreuger’ from popular films.

Disfigurement has not influence whatsoever on moral character and people play many important roles in society, a fact that is rarely reflected in the media.

The myth of learning difficulties

‘People think that because I have an unusual face, I also have learning difficulties.’

People with disfigurements often report that other people talk down to them, speak very slowly or ignore them altogether and talk to the person next to them.

This behaviour seems to reflect an assumption that disfigurement is a visible manifestation of some form of learning difficulties, perhaps because people who have conditions like Down’s Syndrome, for example, have well-recognised facial features.

Some people with unusual faces do have learning difficulties but it is a fallacy to generally associate disfigurement with learning difficulties. 

The myth that ‘appearances don’t matter’

‘People think that because I look unusual, I’m not interested in my appearance.’

It is a myth to assume that appearances don’t matter to people with disfigurements and they are not interested in looking good.

Initial judgments are often made in the first few minutes of a meeting and being well-presented can send out positive messages as well as boosting everyone’s self-confidence and self-esteem.  People with disfigurements enjoy wearing make-up, jewellery and fashionable clothes to positively enhance their appearance.  They know appearance matters – in the first few minutes at least.

Language and attitudes matter too

It’s not just our assumptions about disfigurement that we need to look at again.  The language we use can also have an undermining effect – and it often articulates our underlying attitude.

So, we need to carefully review how we speak about disfigurement because we may inadvertently be reinforcing the myths. 

‘It’s the inside that counts’

This is one of the most popular and well-meant expressions but it is actually incredibly discounting of a person’s face or appearance which after all is a major part of who they are and counts very much!

‘Burn victim’, ‘suffering from a cleft lip and palate’

Phrases about being victims or suffering from their condition are unhelpful.  ‘Victim’ or ‘suffering’ may be words that an individual might choose to apply to themselves but it is inappropriate to assume that they are applicable to everyone.  Many people with disfigurements are not in pain from their scars or marks or unusual features – and they prefer not to be pitied by other people.  ‘Burn survivor’ and the simple ‘has a cleft lip and palate’ are far more accurate and less judgmental.

For more information about changing the way you speak about disfigurement please download our guidelines.