Katie:  My Beautiful Face

This Channel 4 Cutting Edge documentary on Thursday 29 October 2009 featured a young woman called Katie Piper who was severely burned when she had acid thrown over her face and upper body.

The documentary followed Katie as she went through treatment and started the long process of rebuilding her life, whilst awaiting the trial of the people who attacked her.

Many people were very touched by Katie’s honesty and openness and many people will relate to her experience.

The counselling psychologists and psychotherapists at Changing Faces work with many adults who acquire a disfigurement to the face following an accident, warfare or violence or as a result of surgery for cancer or a skin condition.

Katie’s experiences showed some of the challenges which follow a significant change in one's appearance and how valuable the right support can be in enabling a person to begin to rebuild their life.

Support from family and friends

Having the love and support of family and friends helps so much. Being able to talk about your thoughts and feelings, receive a hug when you’re feeling sad and just knowing that you are surrounded by people who care can give you strength. They can also help by being with you during times of treatment, or just when you need some help to face others. We saw this clearly with Katie’s family.

It can sometimes feel hard to ask for support from others when you’re used to being independent and capable. It is important however to allow others to be there for you. Family and friends will be desperate to help and probably feel powerless in knowing what they can do. Let them know what would be useful and don’t be afraid to say when you don’t want their support – it’s good to do things for yourself too.

If you don’t have family and friends you can rely on, you can find support through other means. You might find it helpful to join a support group for people with the same condition or perhaps even a local group that just meets up for coffee and a chat. If you want to talk more in depth about your experience and how your disfigurement is affecting your life, then ask your GP about seeing a counsellor.

Support for family and friends

It’s not unusual for family and friends to feel at a loss as to what to say and do when their loved one has been hurt or injured in some way. You might feel powerless, angry, sad or even guilty that you’re okay or that you couldn’t protect your loved one. All of these feelings are perfectly normal but they’re not constant. Talk openly about how you are all feeling and managing. Obviously you don’t want to burden the injured member of the family at the early stages of their recovery but sometimes in our bid to protect one another we miss out on supporting each other too so try to strike a balance.

Support and information from your medical team

It’s important that the information you seek and receive from your doctors is realistic. It’s very natural to hold out hope for treatment that will make “it” all better, but thinking this way often leads to disappointment. Research your condition and the treatment options and ask your medical team for their advice but make sure you are fully informed of the pros and cons of any intervention, and be sure it’s what you want.

If you are really struggling with your changed appearance, ask your doctor if you can see the psychologist attached to the unit/speciality. More and more hospital trusts now employ psychologists that specialize in offering support around a variety of conditions, and this support can be very helpful alongside your medical or surgical treatment.

Counselling

At Changing Faces we support clients in counselling by encouraging the following:

- talking through thoughts and feelings (e.g., anger, sadness, fear, embarrassment, worry)

- acknowledging losses and normalising emotions

- challenging unhelpful beliefs (won’t find anyone, no one will want to be with me etc)

- trying out new social and communication skills

Find out more by downloading our counselling information sheet.

Going out in public

As we could see in the documentary for Katie, it can be very hard to go out in public after your appearance has changed. You might be worried about other people looking, asking questions or making comments. Whilst your concerns are perfectly understandable, (because people do notice when someone looks or behaves differently) there are a variety of ways to handle these different possibilities.

Here are a few simple suggestions to start off with:

1. What could you say if someone asks you about your appearance?

E.g. “My face was burnt, but I’m well on my way to recovery now. How are you?”

2. What could you think to yourself if people stare?

E.g. “It’s okay, they’re just curious and they’re not judging me.”

3. What could you do if someone makes a comment about you appearance?

Depending on the situation, you might choose to ignore them. Alternatively, you might decide to say something.

E.g. “Actually, I wear this mask to help my scars heal. My hearing  however is 100%!”

Take a look at our guide, Handling Other People’s Reactions for more advice and strategies on dealing with all sorts of scenarios.

No grieve-by date

Recovery takes time, although time isn’t necessarily going to bring resolution. It’s natural to grieve for your past appearance and the life you anticipated with it. Your appearance is strongly linked with your sense of identity so don’t expect to feel okay about your new self for a while.

Post-traumatic stress

Katie’s reactions showed some of the challenges associated with such a violent incident - the post-traumatic stress seen through Katie's hyper-vigilant state, her problems sleeping and recurrent nightmares, and her avoidance of anything reminiscent of the attack (including being near hot liquid).

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) requires specialist support that can be accessed via your GP. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks to the traumatic event, a heightened sensitivity to sights and sounds, recurrent nightmares, difficulty concentrating, hyper-vigilance.

If you would like to speak to one of the team please call us on 0845 4500 275 or email info@changingfaces.org.uk

If you would like to understand more about living with a disfigurement please download our new booklet:  Living with a Disfigurement – managing the challenge.