Feeling different

If your condition has or continues to involve surgery or other medical treatment, your life experience could be very different to your friends and peers. This can feel isolating and as if your life is set apart from others. Sharing your experiences with good friends and family can help reduce this sense of difference, and enable other people to have a greater appreciation of how things are for you.

People close to you may also find it difficult to speak to you about your experience because they may feel frightened, uncomfortable or that they are intruding. This can also contribute to feeling separated from others. Signalling to someone that you would like to talk can reassure them and bring you together. Alternatively, you may find that talking to a neutral party allows you to speak more freely about your experience without being concerned about ‘burdening’ or worrying loved ones.

How we come to view ourselves is largely influenced by our relationships. If people behave differently to you than to friends and family, it’s natural to think that this is because you are different to them. Of course, we’re all different, but your appearance can mean that you stand out more and consequently you attract more attention and curiosity than many other people. It can be helpful to recognise that whilst your appearance might draw attention often not experienced by those without a disfigurement, you have the ability to assist people to see the whole you which includes your similarities as opposed to just your different physical appearance.

Because feeling different is about the way you perceive yourself, it can change according to the situation you find yourself in. You might find that you don’t notice feeling different around people you are comfortable with, e.g. family and friends. However, being in a new surrounding or in a new group of people may increase your feeling of difference. This is a normal experience as new situations usually bring out our insecurities. Changing Faces can advise you on some helpful skills and coping strategies so that you feel prepared for these situations.