Feeling anxious or scared

It’s not unusual for some people to feel anxious and worried, especially about meeting new people, going into new situations, or being around large groups. This is quite natural, as each time you encounter new people, you may attract curiosity and may possibly be asked about your appearance. Such scenarios may cause you concern as you cannot be certain how other people will react and how you will manage their and your own reactions.

Be prepared for new encounters by having a range of different responses to people’s curiosity – be that double-takes, staring, questions or comments. Understand that curiosity is a very natural human quality, and for the most part, people do not mean to be unkind or insensitive. If you can show that you’re comfortable in yourself (even though you may not feel it sometimes even just pretending can be really effective!), this can help others feel reassured and comfortable as well, ensuring good communication between you.

If you find some encounters especially difficult, think about ways that you can make them easier. A natural response is to avoid the situations that make you anxious, and at times this may be a good idea. However, continually avoiding situations will not only limit your freedom and lifestyle, but also ultimately increase your anxiety. This happens because you never allow yourself the opportunity to disprove your fears, thus allowing them free rein to grow.

By taking a gradual approach to the problem and breaking it down to smaller parts, starting with the least threatening, you can begin to make changes slowly. E.g. You really want to go swimming at your local pool but are too worried about other people’s reactions. Start by making enquiries about the quietest times at the pool, or perhaps you could go when there is a same-gender or adult-only session.

Being prepared is one of the key ingredients to managing anxiety, as we can all be carried away by our fear of the unknown. By considering various scenarios beforehand and supplying yourself with skills and strategies, those fears become more surmountable an ultimately in your control. You may not always be able to predict how other people respond, but you can be prepared with your own responses to them (whether verbal or otherwise). As you practise you will gain confidence and your anxieties will gradually subside.